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  • Marisa Ducach PA-C

A Beginner’s Guide to Masturbation

Who doesn’t love a good orgasm? It’s incredible to get one from your partner, but just as amazing to give it to yourself. Face it: sometimes, it’s even better. Exploring your sexuality can help you build confidence, self-awareness, and self-esteem. By learning what turns you on and what doesn't, you can make informed choices about your sexual life and feel more in control of your pleasure. But where should you start? The writers at Ema have some tips and tricks to get you excited. So, here are 5 steps for your journey of SELF-discovery.

Get to Know Your Body

Use a mirror and get to know your anatomy. Then, find the spots that feel good. Exploring your body builds confidence because it allows you to better understand your desires and preferences. By cultivating a positive body image, you can become more comfortable with yourself and feel empowered to make choices that prioritize your pleasure and satisfaction.

Ask Ema:

  • What is the most sensitive erogenous zone on the female body?

  • Besides the clitoris, what other erogenous zones are on the vulva?

  • What are the female sexual organs?

  • What is the best way to stimulate the clitoris?

  • Why does looking in a mirror help me connect to my sexuality?

Get Yourself Ready

One way to get yourself in the mood is to try different types of erotic content. This can include listening to sexy music, reading or listening to erotic stories, or watching pornography or romantic TV shows/movies. Some pornography can have negative effects, such as promoting unrealistic expectations, perpetuating harmful stereotypes, or depicting non-consensual or exploitative scenarios, so be mindful of what type of erotic content you consume and how it impacts your overall sexual well-being. We recommend exploring ethical pornography sites produced by women, which feature consensual and respectful scenes and storylines. Ultimately, this can lead to increased confidence and a more fulfilling sexual experience. Start exploring to find what grinds your gears!

Ask Ema:

  • What are some ways to turn myself on?

  • What ethical porn sites can I try?

Try a Sex Toy

Regarding self-pleasure, the choice between using your hands or a toy is entirely up to you. If you opt for a toy, there are many types to explore. If you enjoy penetration, start with a small dildo (around 4-5 inches) and gradually increase the size. For a hands-free experience, try a toy with a suction cup base that you can attach to a wall or shower. If you prefer clitoral stimulation, there are a variety of vibrators available, including some that use sonic waves and others that are discreet enough to be disguised as lipstick. If you're concerned about noise, look for "quieter" toys. It's also important to consider what material is in the toy - options include silicone, metal, glass, and ceramic, among others. Before purchasing a toy, research the material to ensure it's safe and easy to clean. Avoid materials that contain phthalates, lead, BPA, latex (if you're allergic), or other harmful chemicals.

Ask Ema:

  • What are the safest sex toys for female pleasure?

  • What are a few quieter sex toys to try?

  • What are harmful chemicals in sex toys?

  • Can you send citations for this fact?

Don’t Forget Lube

No matter what method of self-pleasure you choose, you can’t go wrong with treating yourself to some lubricant. There are various types to choose from, including water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, warming, and others, so find the one that best suits your needs and preferences.

Ask Ema:

  • Why is lubricant important to use during masturbation?

  • What are safe lubricants for women?

  • What type of lubricants can cause irritation or infection in women?

  • Can I use coconut oil or olive oil as a lubricant?

  • Can lubricants cause bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections?

Ask Ema Anything

Ask our AI companion, Ema, anything to help you in your journey. Type “What are the best materials for dildos?” or “What are the best pornography sites for women?” to start.

We hope you enjoy your process, no matter what it looks like. Your body is a temple, and you deserve to take time out of your busy schedule to treat it as such. Enjoy!

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